The Beginning of Getting Back
It's 31-Aug, Independence day. Tomorrow we fly out. Tomorrow it begins.
What are some of my thoughts?
It's really good that the preparation phase is about done. I went through quite an emotional and mental roller coaster over the last several months. Going back and forth and up and down to try to figure out the tour package, flights, hotels, etc. So much coordination, so much to take care of and so much to keep track of. Sids idea and vacation but almost all of the responsibility fell on me, as usual. But now it begins so the preparation is about officially over. Thank goodness and good riddance!
Another good thing is that at least now Sids will stop pestering me about the "big trip" we are supposed to make. She would have shown everyone else that she could be just as fancy as all of them, all of the people that use travel as status.
With respect to the trip itself, I feel anxious. There are so many things that could go wrong that could end up wasting the large amount of funds we put into this trip.
But within the fear and anxiety is an opportunity. The obstacle is the way. I am not being Pollyannaish when I say that I can use this trip to "become". So how do I do it?
(1) Traditionally I am a timid traveler. I can use this trip to change that. I deserve a spot at the table as well. I deserve to be travelling just like anyone else. I deserve to be treated with respect as a customer of the airline and the airports, and I deserve to be treated well by other persons that travel with me.
(2) Traditionally I follow. I aim to please first and foremost. I can choose to lead instead. I can choose to say "I think we should do this" or "I think we should do that" or "Let's do this because".
(3) I can choose to be fascinated with every day, with every meal, with every moment, no matter how small or insignificant it may be.
I can choose to become another person. Let me try to be this person.