Smaller Bites
I am thinking about something that I have been noticing. I am noticing how much of my time is spent feeling overwhelmed, thinking about all of the things that I have to do, all of the things that I have written down in Evernote. Feeling that I am a "bad" person for not being further ahead. This has to be absurd. It is absurd. The to-do list never ever ends. This is real life. This is the really real. Things will constantly happen, which means that things will constantly be added to the list. There is no end game.
So what does that leave me with then? Emotions from trauma, from a prehistoric part of my brain. So it's an infinite game that must be played then, where sometimes you are up and sometimes down. It's a continuum of becoming. Maybe the speed makes no sense. The main thing is to become. Yes you can have timelines and temporary goal posts and milestones, but in the end it's the continuum. It's the flow.
What I think would be of assistance are a series of practices. Gratitude. Awareness. Looking inward. Using the body. Noticing the miracles.
Maybe if I do these practices often enough it will put me on the road to becoming, to being able to play this game better.
This is the really real. Can you feel it? Can you feel all of it? You most of all Emile were given the gift of being able to feel all of it. So feel it.
Maybe I can take smaller bites and be fine. It looks that way doesn't it.