Seeing
I feel the fear again, but it is completely understandable. No reason for feeling guilty about the fear. After all, I have practiced being this way for decades. It's not going to go away just like that, probably not going to go away at all.
The important thing right now is to see it, and I have seen it. I put down too many things to do today. I packed the day. Even though I went to the gym, I did not do any reading, whether for health and well-being or just for the pure pleasure of it.
I have to put down less work-related tasks in the day. I have to deliberately create space for life, for real life. All of rest is just to support life. have to make the space every day to do something that just allows me to be, to live, to be present.