More Perspective Shifts
Something is changing in me. I am noticing it. I am gradually seeing things more and more for what they truly are. I think that I am gradually pushing through my illusions.
Case in point. I am letting go of some of the fear of not having enough. This trip is expensive, and it is uncomfortable as to how expensive it is. But not as much as before. I have to make another adjustment that will cost some more money. More spending again. But I am becoming someone different. Since there is less discomfort, there is more of a willingness to face the uncomfortable. This means less procrastination and much more of a willingness to face and solve issues. To solve them as soon as they arise or not too long after they arise.
This is better. I feel this sense of freedom, and maybe a little sense of adventure. I feel adventurous. And why shouldn't I feel that way, really? I do not have any kids. I do not have any debt. I have more money that I have ever had before. I have time flexibility that I never have had before. I am fitter than I have ever been. I know much more about dealing with my emotions and also the emotions of others, than I ever have before. I understand more about this life than before, much more.
The planning of this trip, in particular, is changing. I am becoming a different person. I think that I might be becoming a little less timid, a little more forceful, a little more confident, and maybe with a feeling that I belong, that I deserve a seat at the table as well.
Saying that there are rich people out there who are very anxious, and nervous and unhappy is not an excuse for not being rich, or not trying to be rich, or not trying to be ambitious. It is rather a stark reminder that who we become is truly the big game. In doing all that we have to do in this world, it is who we gradually become as we do so. The anxiety-ridden rich people are real, for they did not become.
Tonight I do not feel the fear of not being able to rebuild my operations account. I actually do have a formula. It's not the best formula, but it is a formula nonetheless.
And I know the traps I have fallen into in the past, of allowing overwhelm to set in, of rushing and pushing myself unreasonably and then abandoning work that could have been good. I know now that it takes times and it takes doing the small bits every single day. I think that I am becoming more comfortable with doing the small bits every single day.
I like this. This is very good.